I have traveled extensively by myself, both domestically and internationally, since I was 15 years old. I do my research, learn what I need to know to be safe and then, I go. I'm not the most energetic tourist there is; I go see what I want to see, but also enjoy just having quiet time in the foreign setting.
Nothing in my previous travel experiences could have prepared me for my reaction to being in Spain.
Nothing.
Although things fell into place quite nicely, if you look at it that way, the one thing that went awry caused me to spiral into a vortex that I seemed emotionally unable to break free of.
I arrived in Spain on October 18th, although I spent all of that day traveling. I was really tired.
By October 20th, I was ready to come home.
Truly? A trip that I have planned, researched and worked to pull together for over a year and after just one day there and I'm ready to throw in the towel and go home?
Yep.
I didn't throw in the towel....but I felt very lonely, very alone, very anxious, and horribly homesick.
In retrospect, I realize that in my previous international travels I had one of two things, neither of which I had on this trip. A guide or a car of my own.
Not having either of these didn't work well for me. I felt rudderless, powerless, confused and anxious.
I enjoyed the sightseeing I did but I wasn't there to be a tourist; I was there to walk. The longer I was unable to walk (initially because of not having my debit card and later, because it rained so hard for so many days) the worse I felt. It was like I was swirling in a vortex and didn't have the strength to get out.
Each day, I would make plans to go to Sarria or to Finisterre or to Lugo...or anywhere and at least walk some of the Camino. Each evening, I would be so beat down, I just didn't know what to do.
It took nine days before I was able to sleep regular hours. The food I was eating was largely carbohydrates (bocadillas) so, in addition to not getting nearly enough sleep, I'm sure my blood sugar was out of whack, as well.
Coming home a week early worked best for me. The Camino has been there for hundreds or thousands of years. That it didn't work for me this time doesn't meant that at some point, it won't happen. I will let that day play out as it should.
At this point, I have no desire to return to Spain. I thought the magic was there. For some people, it is.
For me, it was not.
Wednesday, October 30, 2013
Domingo 20 Octubre 2013
I'm sitting in a bus station in Burgos. Not so surprising. Pilgrims take buses all the time. But the bus I'm taking isn't going where I originally thought it would take me. No.
Why not?
I am a very careful person. I don't have anyone to protect me and really never have. So, I am SO careful with my belongings, my money, my purse, my keys, my phone.
But, sometimes when we are tired, we do things that greatly affect how our life path is going to go. And, what I did yesterday morning has changed my plans considerably.
When stuffing unnecessary things into my duffle so I could take it to the post office and mail it forward to myself to pick up when I arrive in Santiago, I put my fanny pack in it, since I'm not comfy wearing it. I
pulled the stuff out of the credit card slots, failing to remember that only nonessential stuff was in those slots. My credit card and debit card were in a zippered slot.
So my credit and debit cards got mailed to Santiago with my duffle bag. I didn't realize it until about an hour later. I went back to the oficina de correos to see if I could retrieve my box, but they closed at 1pm.
I was beside myself with worry for awhile. Now I just accept that it is what it is. I toured the Burgos cathedral but am unsure if I saw El Cid. I think I did but there were a lot of tombs there. It was beautiful and huge, ornate and gilded. I loved the cloisters.
I didn't linger in the art show display. I was wearing clogs and was ready to go back to my hotel. I was going to take a city tour on the train but it was too late when I got out of the cathedral. I didn't think it would take so long but I was probably on there an hour and a half. Went back to my room and stayed there.
So, as you can see, I lost my train of though and rambled off my topic. I figured I had two choices. Take the night train to Sarria as I'd planned and take my chances walking and having my money last. Or take the bus to Santiago and retrieve my box with my credit & debit cards so I don't have to worry.
My choice: go to Santiago and wait for them to arrive. I've emailed Badalada to tell them my box is coming. I've also emailed them to tell them I am coming today. No response. At least, none that has come through.
I took it easy this morning. Took a sleeping poll at 11pm last night, fell asleep immediately, and got up at 9am. So 9+ hours sleep last night and 12+ the night before. By the time I start my Camino, I should be rested.
The upside to going to Santiago today is this: I'm certain my pack is too heavy. I'm going to ditch my clothes since I've yet to be cold and also my iPhone. It is heavy and my iPod is fine. Perhaps not enough room for photos but who gives a hoot.
My bus leaves at 13:15, about 45 minutes from now. 8 hour trip. I have no reservations in Santiago and don't know if Badalada will let me in. I tell myself 'don't worry, God will provide.' And God will. God got me into this, God will get me through it.
Just strapping on my backpack and walking from the hotel to the estacion de autobus made me feel better. Being proactive instead of victimized.
I'm not a victim. I'm Peregrina Juliana.
(I wrote this and it's been in my folder. I still agree I am not a victim...but being in Spain did not work for me. So, I'm not peregrina Juliana...I'm just a tourist who wound up not really enjoying the destination)
Why not?
I am a very careful person. I don't have anyone to protect me and really never have. So, I am SO careful with my belongings, my money, my purse, my keys, my phone.
But, sometimes when we are tired, we do things that greatly affect how our life path is going to go. And, what I did yesterday morning has changed my plans considerably.
When stuffing unnecessary things into my duffle so I could take it to the post office and mail it forward to myself to pick up when I arrive in Santiago, I put my fanny pack in it, since I'm not comfy wearing it. I
pulled the stuff out of the credit card slots, failing to remember that only nonessential stuff was in those slots. My credit card and debit card were in a zippered slot.
So my credit and debit cards got mailed to Santiago with my duffle bag. I didn't realize it until about an hour later. I went back to the oficina de correos to see if I could retrieve my box, but they closed at 1pm.
I was beside myself with worry for awhile. Now I just accept that it is what it is. I toured the Burgos cathedral but am unsure if I saw El Cid. I think I did but there were a lot of tombs there. It was beautiful and huge, ornate and gilded. I loved the cloisters.
I didn't linger in the art show display. I was wearing clogs and was ready to go back to my hotel. I was going to take a city tour on the train but it was too late when I got out of the cathedral. I didn't think it would take so long but I was probably on there an hour and a half. Went back to my room and stayed there.
So, as you can see, I lost my train of though and rambled off my topic. I figured I had two choices. Take the night train to Sarria as I'd planned and take my chances walking and having my money last. Or take the bus to Santiago and retrieve my box with my credit & debit cards so I don't have to worry.
My choice: go to Santiago and wait for them to arrive. I've emailed Badalada to tell them my box is coming. I've also emailed them to tell them I am coming today. No response. At least, none that has come through.
I took it easy this morning. Took a sleeping poll at 11pm last night, fell asleep immediately, and got up at 9am. So 9+ hours sleep last night and 12+ the night before. By the time I start my Camino, I should be rested.
The upside to going to Santiago today is this: I'm certain my pack is too heavy. I'm going to ditch my clothes since I've yet to be cold and also my iPhone. It is heavy and my iPod is fine. Perhaps not enough room for photos but who gives a hoot.
My bus leaves at 13:15, about 45 minutes from now. 8 hour trip. I have no reservations in Santiago and don't know if Badalada will let me in. I tell myself 'don't worry, God will provide.' And God will. God got me into this, God will get me through it.
Just strapping on my backpack and walking from the hotel to the estacion de autobus made me feel better. Being proactive instead of victimized.
I'm not a victim. I'm Peregrina Juliana.
(I wrote this and it's been in my folder. I still agree I am not a victim...but being in Spain did not work for me. So, I'm not peregrina Juliana...I'm just a tourist who wound up not really enjoying the destination)
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